Taking a Break...

to do that thing I mentioned way back when and work on the relationship, which is soooo much more important than the wedding. Plus, trying to plan a nice, inexpensive wedding is making my head hurt.

Sigh...

Still hard. Still actually thinking about not having a wedding. Still wishing I hadn't gotten myself into such a terrible situation with student loans. Still wishing I had held down a "real" job for more than 16 months in the last 6 years so that I could have been paying more than the minimum on my loans and so that I would have more than $0.00 in the bank. Still hoping I can have a reception for about $4,500 (yes, I hear the uproarious laughter, too).

This is significantly harder than I ever imagined.

Ok, so, yes. I always knew planning a wedding would be a challenge. Duh. However, it's proving to be a challenge in ways I could not have possibly imagined. Ok, I suppose I could have imagined it if I closed my eyes real tight and tried really hard. Anyway, I digress. Even an inexpensive, modest (but lovely, handmade, and well-thought out) wedding is undeniably and unbelievably expensive, especially if you want to have it anywhere near Seattle. I know, again with the 'duh.' I've put myself on a budget, and I don't want to go over it. Confusing me even more, however, is that when I think about even that modest budget, I think about how. much. money. it really is and I kinda freak out. What with considerable student loans, and a desire to build onto the house, and perhaps, some day, maybe (did I hedge that enough) be a stay at home mom (especially considering the fact that I don't make enough to even afford child care), I'm not sure I can justify it. I mean, it really is one 12 hour day. Seriously! I could pay off half my student loans instead!! My current *brilliant* plan is to win the lotto. I should probably have a backup plan, however.

Chris really likes the idea of a hotel wedding. It's convenient, they do all the work, and generally they throw in a hotel room for the bride and groom. Awesomesauce. However, I'd love to save a couple thousand dollars, have it somewhere way cheaper (I'm told I should say "more economical," not "cheap":)), where I would have to do more work, but I'm totally organized enough to work that out. Then, if we chose, we could spend a couple hundred dollars on a hotel room. Or not. Whatever, I don't really care much one way or the other about that. Most of the non-hotel places I've found are either just as expensive as a hotel, too small, or just plain meh. I'm still in love with the California Substation in West Seattle. Here's an old photo (it actually looks even nicer now that the Dakota Place Park folks planted lovely blooming flowers all around the front):


This place is fabulous. It's near our houses - so it's local, which is awesome. It's gorgeous in its old-school-ness without being overly ornate. It has new-old windows and exposed brick on the inside. It's a blank canvas, which I love because I can decorate it however I want. Rental fees are based on whatever Seattle Parks & Rec would charge (read: practically free in comparison to traditional "wedding" venues). There's a garden out back, and a large patio. The indoor capacity is 210, so if it rained, we could move everything inside. I have in mind a caterer that would let us buy our own alcohol. So, what's the catch, you ask. (There's always a catch.) The park outside has been beautified, but the building renovations (including seismic upgrades, and covering up that pesky hole in the ceiling, etc.) have been postponed due to budget cuts. It was supposed to be finished in late fall, 2010 (i.e. right now). Instead, they're hoping to start renovations this fall and finish in April, 2011. I should know more soon about whether the budget passed and they have money to actually get the ball rolling. However, even if they find money in the budget to get renovations started again, it's suuuuuuuuper risky to wait until next April and just hope that budget cuts or budget overruns (because of some crazy unpredictable weirdness in the building - I live in a 100 year old house - this happens) don't waylay the construction. If the venue falls through in April, we'd officially be screwed. But I don't want to spend a million zillion dollars on a wedding. I don't want to spend all that much on a wedding, to be honest. Could something please just be easy? For once? No? K, just checkin'.

Only in my dreams.

Lately all I dream about is my wedding venue. That can't be healthy/normal, can it? I don't remember the dreams, I just wake up frustrated and exhausted, so they must be realistic! Also, (although this isn't new) I can't focus at work. All day long I research and contact Seattle-area venues. I'm so going to get fired, which will make paying for a venue significantly harder. So, now I go work...no, really. For reals. I swear! But first, here's a picture of the project I started and almost completed this week.



Yay for sewing! I'm terrible at it, but it sure is a good distraction from stressful things. I made three of these for Christmas gifts. Thanks, Martha!(Yes, I know it's a Valentine's day purse, but what 7 year old doesn't want a purse with hearts on it!? Seriously. None. Plus, I plan to fill it with cheap junk. Kids LOVE junk!)

Frustrated!

Why are there no affordable venues in Seattle? Is no one else price-conscious? Is everyone ungodly wealthy? Seriously?

I was born in the wrong era

I should have lived during the time where people made what they could and bartered for everything else. I heart bartering. I just got a graphic designer friend to agree to make us a wedding logo in exchange for cupcakes! I'm excited to see how it turns out, and then to print it on every.thing. Look out kitty - don't sit still too long!

I wonder...

I'm not going to lie, I love wedding dresses. I've been to many, many bridal boutiques in and around Seattle with friends who were getting married, and it's fun, even just to watch. I always looked forward to my day to do the same. But, the reality is that I am on a budget (mostly self-imposed - Mama's got some serious student loans to pay off, and I can't justify a zillion dollar one-time-use-dress when I'm so in debt.) So, the question is: do I take this one opportunity in my life and go to all the fancy downtown boutiques and try on dresses I can't afford, at the risk of falling in love with something I can never have? Or do I just go to Demetrios, try on this dress-



and then buy it for a steal online? Oh, the hardships I face. :)

Let them eat cake...

...somewhere else. Ok, I don't love cake. Yes, I love to bake cake. I like to make cute cakes. Pretty cakes. Layered cakes. But eating them...meh. This is how I can have a freezer full of cupcakes and not pig out. Now, if I had a freezer full of cookies or pies or, heaven forbid, jelly bellies, I'd be in trouble. My fiance isn't a huge cake fan either. So, I'd like to do a dessert buffet with pies, cookies, rice krispie treats (LOVE THEM), and candies. Oh, and donuts - who doesn't like donuts!? Crazy people, that's who. But no cake. I know it's not very traditional, but is it so terrible that I want to ply my guests with equally sweet and delicious baked goods? Really? I don't think so.

Also, the dessert bar will include an homage to beef jerky. Yes, that says beef jerky. On our first date, my fiance informed me that his favorite dessert was beef jerky. Done. :)

Just me?

Does anyone else wish time would stand still and all of those pesky daily chores - cleaning the toilet, mowing the lawn, doing laundry, going to work (!!) - would just disappear so they could do nothing but work on prettiness for their wedding? Well, in case it wasn't clear, I wish I could devote all of my time to my wedding. So far, it's not working too well. The reality of our wedding budget hit pretty hard - it's definitely doable, but I really do have to work hard to do a lot of things myself. It's a tad disheartening that everyone says there's no way I can do all of the things I would like to do...but, I will agree that the week before my wedding is going to be a busy one!

Also, I heart milk glass centerpieces. (The color-coordinated ribbon and mini-vintage suitcase are good, too!)



I also love ridiculously tiny elephant ring holders.